Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
