And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
