you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
My pussy is not your playground.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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