Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
