...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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