Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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