sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
how drunk are you?
Several
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
