:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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