Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i barfeds in our rink
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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