I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
