ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
