:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
