Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
