The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
