it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
