I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
