Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Randomize
