Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
