So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Dicks are not precious.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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