I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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