im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
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