hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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