she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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