I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize
