Barsexuality is the new black.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Randomize
