does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
