my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
