Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
