Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
