I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
the liver wants what the liver wants
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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