I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
