if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
