yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
