I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Randomize