Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
