He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
