Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize