Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
