we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
