She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
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