Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Randomize
