There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
