I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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