I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
