i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
