i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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