I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
