I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
