you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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