I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
